Desiree WSBB Part 8: Meh.
We know that we are supposed to love Home Town Dates, but we confess that Desiree WSBB Part 8 is very boring. Somewhere between grocery store sushi (which was terrible -- why are they making nutty brown rice sushi now? WHY???) and dark chocolate double dipped malt balls (making everything better), we already started the dates with Abs in his hometown of Dallas. Shit shit shit we are not paying attention, likely because Desiree WSBB is wearing a turquoise faux leather jacket that is Hatred. Itself.
She and Abs are walking through a park, and Abs is saying something about being born in this park and then raised by squirrels. He is excited for Desiree WSBB to meet his sister, because "her and I are close." Dear Abs, she is close. You are close. She and you are close. GRAMMAR. RAGE.
Anyway, Abs tells Desiree about a dream he had. They were laying in the sand, and it was so hot that they were melting into it. And then it started snowing, and then there were cups, and then 100s of children came out of nowhere. . . and then he just stops.
"Wait. We don't get to hear how the dream ends?" asks KMu." There was sand, then melting, then snow, then cups, then children, then????"
Babies, on Friday night this viewer had a dream that her husband was violently dismembered by vampires in the front lawn of an apartment complex. While he was warned in advance that he would likely be a target of said vampires (because, according to them, "he had pissed a few of them off"), that knowledge was no less traumatic or horrible For This Viewer. And so we don't give a Billy Be Damned about Abs and his dream. In fact, we may Never. Sleep. Again.
A Sno Cone truck shows up and suddenly everything makes sense. Abs says he wants Desiree to join the family business, which apparently is driving a sno cone truck, and off they go to Tree Tops Elementary School.
Gentle Readers, Abs just asked Desiree if she would come be a Carnie with him. Romance is apparently Not Dead in America, and can still be a-kindled over a double deep fried oreo and a heaping side of Shame.
But Desiree WSBB is touched, and immediately gets to work scooping Sno Cones for hundreds of children while Abs stands around watching in an apron a/k/a talking with them. And then he shows up 5 minutes later in a penguin suit for the kids.
"The Penguin is my boyfriend," Desiree tells the children.
"MWAHAHHAHHAHHAAA," says one smart little girl.
"That little girl just summed up this entire f*cking show" says KMu.
So despite the sno cones and aprons and all of that, we actually are liking Abs more and more. And also, *spoiler alert* We at the BNU like his family the best of the bunch. Yes, mother Maryann, Dad Jeff, Brother Denton, and Sister Carly all have very white teeth. But also. . .
"Woah, Dad is a Silver. Fox.," says ABe.
And also, Denton is not bad himself.
Abs's family earns even more points when Abs tells them that he came to the first rose ceremony topless. Maryann doesn't even stop cutting her food as she rolls her eyes, and Denton asks, "so, you were THAT guy?"
Various 1:1 times ensue. Mom gently asks Desiree if it isn't maybe difficult to know one's mind after spending such a short time together with each man?? She and Carly like Desiree, but Carly worries that Abs may be in the friend zone and is a little worried he is going to get hurt. Abs confesses to his mother that he has fallen in love with her, and then they. . . .sing. Von Trapp family style. To Desiree.
You light the fire inside his eyes.
You give [something somethingy rhymey].
[something] with arms that want to lead the way. . .
Oh Desiree now can you see. Your place inside this family. . .
When This Viewer restaged a Christmas show for the ex-Amish, we would practice yodeling in the car for the 45 minute drive home. Because it was part of their show and This Viewer Coveted It. But Babies, even We were not so bold as to Yodel in any more public a setting than our car with the windows up.
And that is all This Viewer is Going to Say on the Matter.
But Desiree is touched. She is crying, and then Abs is taking her out to the garden and saying incredibly sweet things to her about how he loves her and has gotten a ring for her (not to freak her out), and We just feel like despite the spray tan, this guy really has more substance than most people on this show. And we feel bad for him because we are pretty sure that, as between the remaining guys, he will probably be the one to get the axe next.
Team Abs for the next bachelor?
Before we have time to think about it further, we are in Scottsdale, AZ with Drew.
"Come on Barbie, Let's Go Party," says KMu.
"Ah, ah, ah, yeah" sings ABe.
So Drew plasters himself and his lips up on Desiree in front of some weird strip mall with a store called "Mystique," she returns the sentiment with fervor, and we know that it is Over. For. Abs. Drew announces that he loves her and talks to the camera about having gone on this "crazy journey" [everyone drink]. We are going to meet father Mal(achi), Mom (Angela?), Sister Megan, Bro in Law Kevin, their children, after picking up his other sister at her group home. And. . . "this is the first time my dad has been to my mom's house."
O.M.G.
And also, "I don't think my family has ever seen me like this before!" says Drew.
"With a woman?" asks ABe.
Off they go to pick up Melissa, who has special needs. This Viewer's hackles are up, because ABC better damn well treat her appropriately.
"KLo, be serious." Says KMu. "ABC never exploits people."
So Melissa is sweet and excited to see her brother, and then completely like a deer in headlights when she discovers all of the filming lights at her mother's house. That is the last we see or hear of Melissa, except when this happens:
Dad: "Do you believe in Angels, Desiree?"
Desiree: "Um, yes."
Dad: "Have you ever met one?"
Her: "Um, no."
Dad: "Yes you have. Melissa. She has taught us more as a family than we would have known before. And I think that's what Drew wanted you to see."
Sigh. We have very mixed feelings about this little speech. And also, we bet Desiree is going to feel like a Complete Asshole if she dumps the gay guy with the disabled sister and recovered alcoholic father who is now dying of cancer. But, he is just so . . very bland. And also, gay.
Blah blah Drew confesses his undying love to Desiree as they kiss goodbye, and says that he "will be engaged" the next time his family sees him. Meh.
Off we go to McMinnivall Oregon to meet Chris's family. Gentle readers, we had thought he was mormon, but that must be Brooks Brothers.
But more importantly, "Chris has a nice tushy," observes this Viewer.
"You say that every week," says KMu.
But he does. This Viewer is an Ardent Admirer.
Desiree and Chris walk to a baseball diamond. They put on eye black, and he writes "heart, chris" on her eyes with it. We don't know what she writes, but KMu thinks its "not. gay."
They play baseball for a while, and Chris is tickled to discover that Desiree can hit rather decently. And then she picks him up for a piggyback ride and they look at drawings of their Special Moments Together, but we don't know which one of them made the drawings because we were more interested in malt balls at that point.
ABe is more engaged: "I wouldn't kick that out of bed," mutters she.
Soon, Chris and Desiree are walking away from a perfectly good picnic set up on the baseball mound, and ABe is concluding that when such food is left unattended, the ABC staff "swoop in like ball girls and boys at Wimbleton" which leads to a discussion at BNU Headquarters about why on earth Our Valuable Staff have not managed to either be techies for the show or audience members at a "Tell All." Sheer laziness, babies. And also, LA is far away.
So at Chris's house, we meet Mom, Dad, Sisters Anna and Erin, brother Jared and his wife Jill.
"Wow, Chris got the looks in that family," says KMu, for All Of Us Secretly.
We also learn that Dad is a chiropractor with his clinic downstairs. We love a good chiropractor and are not bothered by this, except for when he adjusts Chris's nose.
Chris's family is nice, but conversation is a little odd:
"So . . .do you drink wine?" queries his mom.
"Oh, YEAH. " says Desiree, and then proceeds to tell a story of drinking so much with Chris that she fell off a rock and tweeked her back.
Chris's dad gives her an adjustment. And, no joke, he sounds exactly like The Godfather while doing it.
Says Dad [insert wheezing]: "My first impression is that Desiree. Is. A good girl."
Says KMu: "He is going to make her an adjustment that she cannot refuse."
Most of the 1:1 is done on the chiropractic table on this date. Desiree says she likes Chris. And then this Viewer is COMPLETELY. GROSSED.OUT. when Chris's dad shoves some kind of shaving kit-looking device up Chris's nose to adjust it as they talk about Desiree in their own 1:1 time.
But what is odd about all of this is the discussion of Chris's last girlfriend, a/k/a "The Last One." Mom tells Desire that Chris was really hurt by The Last One. His sister tells Chris, "you know, I didn't like The Last One . . and neither did Grandma. . and neither did Mom." And then in 1:1 time between Chris and his mother, Chris tells his mom that he really likes that Desiree is so independent, and does not appear to have the insecurity issues "like The Last One."
Quoth the Raven: Nevermore!
Blah blah, they kiss goodbye, all of us at the BNU admire Chris's hotness, and we hope he makes it to the next round. Oh, and somewhere in there, he told Desiree that he loves her.
Finally, we are in Salt Lake City with Brooks Brothers. KMu wants to know if they are going to run into Jef(f) and his marionettes.
Here is Our Thing (All of Us): Brooks Brothers is A Drip. He is wearing a womens' suit jacket and an ascot tie, and tells the camera that he's just not sure how he feels emotionally about Desiree, and that he's frustrated with how little time they've had together. But Desiree WSBB is really, REALLY into Brooks Brothers. And to keep that anxious tap dance going, she has made him A List of their Precious Moments.
1. That one time, when he was first out of the limo. Yeah, that was fun.
2. Oh, and their first date, dressing up like bride and groom? That was fun too.
3. Oh oh oh remember that one time when they kissed at the cupcake truck? That was really fun.
Shoot. This. Viewer. Now.
But we are not done: Remember that one time that we were on Cloud Nine? "Yeah, and then we were like breaking through the clouds together!" says Brooks Brothers. "Yeah, and then the clouds cleared," says Desiree.
This Viewer drowns herself in wine.
They canoe, which Desiree allegedly has never done before despite once living in a tent and being all manner of outdoorsy, and then they go meet his family of 10, their spouses, and so forth. At least they're all wearing name tags. "The brother looks like he's right out of Big Love," observes KMu, taking in the Jim Bob Duggar hair, and the button-down shirt with collar tucked into a pullover sweater.
Basically, in all of the various 1:1 times on this date, all of Brooks Brothers' family is explaining to him what he would feel like if Desiree is The One. And our thing is this: Brooks Brothers would know it in his very core, and would not need to be needing so many words of assurance from his family because Desiree would simply. . .be. But he is a Drip, and she is not The One but he is too Chickenshit to call it off because of said Drippitude. We are tired.
So the dates are all over, but now, NOW we cannot get to the rose ceremony because we must visit with the Creepy Lumberjack, a/k/a Desiree's brother. She is worried for him to meet the men on her own hometown dates, because of how horrible he was to Pringles. And apparently, she has not even talked to him since that night, multiple months ago. We do not understand why he is even showing up now, except to make "good television," as he is clearly not a part of Desiree's life, but whatever.
She describes the men to him:
Zak = adventurous, positive.
Drew = sweetest person you'll ever meet in your life (because Desiree's brother really seems to care about that, or something).
Chris = athletic, active, humble.
Brooks Brothers: Funny, Quirky.
The Brother wants to "get in their heads." We are pretty sure that the only ones that would handle that appropriately are Zak, and maybe Chris. We are equally certain that they will not be the last 2 men standing.
The interview with The Brother is a big nothing. But now we're through it, and Chris Harrison is interviewing Desiree at the rose ceremony. He is sitting in a giant red velvet chair and we are pretty sure we would not blink an eye if he were also wearing a black cape. We worry about vampires again.
Desiree is once again ranking the men. Oh! She felt so luck to be with all the families. No no, none of them had any problem saying that they loved her. . except Brooks Brothers. She is not concerned, however, because she can "feel it" coming from him. Oh Dear.
But KMu wants to know who Desiree would prefer going swimming with, and ABe is whispering that with Chris, she could go "skinny dipping. . .. or streaking."
Gentle readers, when this Viewer and ABe were ever so much younger, we streaked a guy playing the organ in the church chapel at our college campus. Neither ABe nor I will ever forget the moment that the music simply. . . stopped. Nor will we forget having to extend our buck run past the chapel windows as all of the traffic from an adjacent soccer game was driving past, in order to get to our clothes. Ah, the Good Old Days, when a lady could freestyle without her rump hitting the floor.
ANYWAY, as we are reminiscing, Desiree stands up and we finally get a good look at her dress. Babies, it is like a 4th grader tried to draw Skeletor on a white canvas with sparkle glue. Every rib is drawn, there is some weird arrow thing pointing to her Secret Garden, she's got a question mark on one hip, and a deck of cards on the other. And also, she is wearing it with Mary Kay pink high heels. We hate this outfit with a blinding passion.
But it's the Moment of Truth, and as she is standing there, crying in a dress that is a Crime Against All Fibres, Whether Natural or Not, she picks;
1. Brooks Brothers
2. Chris, . . . and
3. Drew.
We all knew this was coming, except Abs, who looks like he has been punched in his eponymous region. She tells him he is a great guy and gives his ring back. He handles it like a gentleman. But in the limo, he says that he really thought it would work, and that he doesn't want to go back to his prior life, which was a "lonely life." And he throws the ring out the window. OH!!!!!
We are heartbroken for Abs and wish him well.
Stay tuned for next week, when the Men Tell All, and the BNU Staff Drink Heavily to Get Through It.
- KLo
She and Abs are walking through a park, and Abs is saying something about being born in this park and then raised by squirrels. He is excited for Desiree WSBB to meet his sister, because "her and I are close." Dear Abs, she is close. You are close. She and you are close. GRAMMAR. RAGE.
Anyway, Abs tells Desiree about a dream he had. They were laying in the sand, and it was so hot that they were melting into it. And then it started snowing, and then there were cups, and then 100s of children came out of nowhere. . . and then he just stops.
"Wait. We don't get to hear how the dream ends?" asks KMu." There was sand, then melting, then snow, then cups, then children, then????"
Babies, on Friday night this viewer had a dream that her husband was violently dismembered by vampires in the front lawn of an apartment complex. While he was warned in advance that he would likely be a target of said vampires (because, according to them, "he had pissed a few of them off"), that knowledge was no less traumatic or horrible For This Viewer. And so we don't give a Billy Be Damned about Abs and his dream. In fact, we may Never. Sleep. Again.
A Sno Cone truck shows up and suddenly everything makes sense. Abs says he wants Desiree to join the family business, which apparently is driving a sno cone truck, and off they go to Tree Tops Elementary School.
Gentle Readers, Abs just asked Desiree if she would come be a Carnie with him. Romance is apparently Not Dead in America, and can still be a-kindled over a double deep fried oreo and a heaping side of Shame.
But Desiree WSBB is touched, and immediately gets to work scooping Sno Cones for hundreds of children while Abs stands around watching in an apron a/k/a talking with them. And then he shows up 5 minutes later in a penguin suit for the kids.
"The Penguin is my boyfriend," Desiree tells the children.
"MWAHAHHAHHAHHAAA," says one smart little girl.
"That little girl just summed up this entire f*cking show" says KMu.
So despite the sno cones and aprons and all of that, we actually are liking Abs more and more. And also, *spoiler alert* We at the BNU like his family the best of the bunch. Yes, mother Maryann, Dad Jeff, Brother Denton, and Sister Carly all have very white teeth. But also. . .
"Woah, Dad is a Silver. Fox.," says ABe.
And also, Denton is not bad himself.
Abs's family earns even more points when Abs tells them that he came to the first rose ceremony topless. Maryann doesn't even stop cutting her food as she rolls her eyes, and Denton asks, "so, you were THAT guy?"
Various 1:1 times ensue. Mom gently asks Desiree if it isn't maybe difficult to know one's mind after spending such a short time together with each man?? She and Carly like Desiree, but Carly worries that Abs may be in the friend zone and is a little worried he is going to get hurt. Abs confesses to his mother that he has fallen in love with her, and then they. . . .sing. Von Trapp family style. To Desiree.
You light the fire inside his eyes.
You give [something somethingy rhymey].
[something] with arms that want to lead the way. . .
Oh Desiree now can you see. Your place inside this family. . .
When This Viewer restaged a Christmas show for the ex-Amish, we would practice yodeling in the car for the 45 minute drive home. Because it was part of their show and This Viewer Coveted It. But Babies, even We were not so bold as to Yodel in any more public a setting than our car with the windows up.
And that is all This Viewer is Going to Say on the Matter.
But Desiree is touched. She is crying, and then Abs is taking her out to the garden and saying incredibly sweet things to her about how he loves her and has gotten a ring for her (not to freak her out), and We just feel like despite the spray tan, this guy really has more substance than most people on this show. And we feel bad for him because we are pretty sure that, as between the remaining guys, he will probably be the one to get the axe next.
Team Abs for the next bachelor?
Before we have time to think about it further, we are in Scottsdale, AZ with Drew.
"Come on Barbie, Let's Go Party," says KMu.
"Ah, ah, ah, yeah" sings ABe.
So Drew plasters himself and his lips up on Desiree in front of some weird strip mall with a store called "Mystique," she returns the sentiment with fervor, and we know that it is Over. For. Abs. Drew announces that he loves her and talks to the camera about having gone on this "crazy journey" [everyone drink]. We are going to meet father Mal(achi), Mom (Angela?), Sister Megan, Bro in Law Kevin, their children, after picking up his other sister at her group home. And. . . "this is the first time my dad has been to my mom's house."
O.M.G.
And also, "I don't think my family has ever seen me like this before!" says Drew.
"With a woman?" asks ABe.
Off they go to pick up Melissa, who has special needs. This Viewer's hackles are up, because ABC better damn well treat her appropriately.
"KLo, be serious." Says KMu. "ABC never exploits people."
So Melissa is sweet and excited to see her brother, and then completely like a deer in headlights when she discovers all of the filming lights at her mother's house. That is the last we see or hear of Melissa, except when this happens:
Dad: "Do you believe in Angels, Desiree?"
Desiree: "Um, yes."
Dad: "Have you ever met one?"
Her: "Um, no."
Dad: "Yes you have. Melissa. She has taught us more as a family than we would have known before. And I think that's what Drew wanted you to see."
Sigh. We have very mixed feelings about this little speech. And also, we bet Desiree is going to feel like a Complete Asshole if she dumps the gay guy with the disabled sister and recovered alcoholic father who is now dying of cancer. But, he is just so . . very bland. And also, gay.
Blah blah Drew confesses his undying love to Desiree as they kiss goodbye, and says that he "will be engaged" the next time his family sees him. Meh.
Off we go to McMinnivall Oregon to meet Chris's family. Gentle readers, we had thought he was mormon, but that must be Brooks Brothers.
But more importantly, "Chris has a nice tushy," observes this Viewer.
"You say that every week," says KMu.
But he does. This Viewer is an Ardent Admirer.
Desiree and Chris walk to a baseball diamond. They put on eye black, and he writes "heart, chris" on her eyes with it. We don't know what she writes, but KMu thinks its "not. gay."
They play baseball for a while, and Chris is tickled to discover that Desiree can hit rather decently. And then she picks him up for a piggyback ride and they look at drawings of their Special Moments Together, but we don't know which one of them made the drawings because we were more interested in malt balls at that point.
ABe is more engaged: "I wouldn't kick that out of bed," mutters she.
Soon, Chris and Desiree are walking away from a perfectly good picnic set up on the baseball mound, and ABe is concluding that when such food is left unattended, the ABC staff "swoop in like ball girls and boys at Wimbleton" which leads to a discussion at BNU Headquarters about why on earth Our Valuable Staff have not managed to either be techies for the show or audience members at a "Tell All." Sheer laziness, babies. And also, LA is far away.
So at Chris's house, we meet Mom, Dad, Sisters Anna and Erin, brother Jared and his wife Jill.
"Wow, Chris got the looks in that family," says KMu, for All Of Us Secretly.
We also learn that Dad is a chiropractor with his clinic downstairs. We love a good chiropractor and are not bothered by this, except for when he adjusts Chris's nose.
Chris's family is nice, but conversation is a little odd:
"So . . .do you drink wine?" queries his mom.
"Oh, YEAH. " says Desiree, and then proceeds to tell a story of drinking so much with Chris that she fell off a rock and tweeked her back.
Chris's dad gives her an adjustment. And, no joke, he sounds exactly like The Godfather while doing it.
Says Dad [insert wheezing]: "My first impression is that Desiree. Is. A good girl."
Says KMu: "He is going to make her an adjustment that she cannot refuse."
Most of the 1:1 is done on the chiropractic table on this date. Desiree says she likes Chris. And then this Viewer is COMPLETELY. GROSSED.OUT. when Chris's dad shoves some kind of shaving kit-looking device up Chris's nose to adjust it as they talk about Desiree in their own 1:1 time.
But what is odd about all of this is the discussion of Chris's last girlfriend, a/k/a "The Last One." Mom tells Desire that Chris was really hurt by The Last One. His sister tells Chris, "you know, I didn't like The Last One . . and neither did Grandma. . and neither did Mom." And then in 1:1 time between Chris and his mother, Chris tells his mom that he really likes that Desiree is so independent, and does not appear to have the insecurity issues "like The Last One."
Quoth the Raven: Nevermore!
Blah blah, they kiss goodbye, all of us at the BNU admire Chris's hotness, and we hope he makes it to the next round. Oh, and somewhere in there, he told Desiree that he loves her.
Finally, we are in Salt Lake City with Brooks Brothers. KMu wants to know if they are going to run into Jef(f) and his marionettes.
Here is Our Thing (All of Us): Brooks Brothers is A Drip. He is wearing a womens' suit jacket and an ascot tie, and tells the camera that he's just not sure how he feels emotionally about Desiree, and that he's frustrated with how little time they've had together. But Desiree WSBB is really, REALLY into Brooks Brothers. And to keep that anxious tap dance going, she has made him A List of their Precious Moments.
1. That one time, when he was first out of the limo. Yeah, that was fun.
2. Oh, and their first date, dressing up like bride and groom? That was fun too.
3. Oh oh oh remember that one time when they kissed at the cupcake truck? That was really fun.
Shoot. This. Viewer. Now.
But we are not done: Remember that one time that we were on Cloud Nine? "Yeah, and then we were like breaking through the clouds together!" says Brooks Brothers. "Yeah, and then the clouds cleared," says Desiree.
This Viewer drowns herself in wine.
They canoe, which Desiree allegedly has never done before despite once living in a tent and being all manner of outdoorsy, and then they go meet his family of 10, their spouses, and so forth. At least they're all wearing name tags. "The brother looks like he's right out of Big Love," observes KMu, taking in the Jim Bob Duggar hair, and the button-down shirt with collar tucked into a pullover sweater.
Basically, in all of the various 1:1 times on this date, all of Brooks Brothers' family is explaining to him what he would feel like if Desiree is The One. And our thing is this: Brooks Brothers would know it in his very core, and would not need to be needing so many words of assurance from his family because Desiree would simply. . .be. But he is a Drip, and she is not The One but he is too Chickenshit to call it off because of said Drippitude. We are tired.
So the dates are all over, but now, NOW we cannot get to the rose ceremony because we must visit with the Creepy Lumberjack, a/k/a Desiree's brother. She is worried for him to meet the men on her own hometown dates, because of how horrible he was to Pringles. And apparently, she has not even talked to him since that night, multiple months ago. We do not understand why he is even showing up now, except to make "good television," as he is clearly not a part of Desiree's life, but whatever.
She describes the men to him:
Zak = adventurous, positive.
Drew = sweetest person you'll ever meet in your life (because Desiree's brother really seems to care about that, or something).
Chris = athletic, active, humble.
Brooks Brothers: Funny, Quirky.
The Brother wants to "get in their heads." We are pretty sure that the only ones that would handle that appropriately are Zak, and maybe Chris. We are equally certain that they will not be the last 2 men standing.
The interview with The Brother is a big nothing. But now we're through it, and Chris Harrison is interviewing Desiree at the rose ceremony. He is sitting in a giant red velvet chair and we are pretty sure we would not blink an eye if he were also wearing a black cape. We worry about vampires again.
Desiree is once again ranking the men. Oh! She felt so luck to be with all the families. No no, none of them had any problem saying that they loved her. . except Brooks Brothers. She is not concerned, however, because she can "feel it" coming from him. Oh Dear.
But KMu wants to know who Desiree would prefer going swimming with, and ABe is whispering that with Chris, she could go "skinny dipping. . .. or streaking."
Gentle readers, when this Viewer and ABe were ever so much younger, we streaked a guy playing the organ in the church chapel at our college campus. Neither ABe nor I will ever forget the moment that the music simply. . . stopped. Nor will we forget having to extend our buck run past the chapel windows as all of the traffic from an adjacent soccer game was driving past, in order to get to our clothes. Ah, the Good Old Days, when a lady could freestyle without her rump hitting the floor.
ANYWAY, as we are reminiscing, Desiree stands up and we finally get a good look at her dress. Babies, it is like a 4th grader tried to draw Skeletor on a white canvas with sparkle glue. Every rib is drawn, there is some weird arrow thing pointing to her Secret Garden, she's got a question mark on one hip, and a deck of cards on the other. And also, she is wearing it with Mary Kay pink high heels. We hate this outfit with a blinding passion.
But it's the Moment of Truth, and as she is standing there, crying in a dress that is a Crime Against All Fibres, Whether Natural or Not, she picks;
1. Brooks Brothers
2. Chris, . . . and
3. Drew.
We all knew this was coming, except Abs, who looks like he has been punched in his eponymous region. She tells him he is a great guy and gives his ring back. He handles it like a gentleman. But in the limo, he says that he really thought it would work, and that he doesn't want to go back to his prior life, which was a "lonely life." And he throws the ring out the window. OH!!!!!
We are heartbroken for Abs and wish him well.
Stay tuned for next week, when the Men Tell All, and the BNU Staff Drink Heavily to Get Through It.
- KLo
posted by KLo @ 3:35 AM
1 Comments:
Wow, good thing Chris' dad was a chiropractor and not a gastroentologist....CPa
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